It was a beautiful today today and go figure, for the life of me I can’t explain why I felt so bleak. I think it’s the cumulative effect of the hate, mistrust, and fear that seem to permeate even the air outdoors. People care passionately about the election but nobody seems to feel safe talking about it. When I got my hair cut Sunday, my hairdresser and I talked around the election. Are you voting? Is there a candidate you like? Are you voting for someone or against someone? I’ve stopped reading Facebook.
But even as I wondered grimly about feeling bleak, the guy at the coffee shop gave me an iced Americano for the price of a regular iced coffee. And I realized that I am kind of a faker in the feeling-bleak department. After all:
I get up each morning and enter the raffle for $10 Hamilton seats.
I religiously check Nate Silver’s 2016 Election Forecast.
I plan to spend time installing more deer netting for the garden and U-shaped stakes to hold the netting down (the damn deer figured out how to go under the netting).
I still feel a surge of happy when a stranger tells me nice news. Two days ago, it was when the young woman at the local craft store’s checkout counter said she’d just gotten married.
I found a “drive-through” yesterday — a parking spot where the one in front is empty so you can drive through & be facing forward when it’s time to leave– and even though it’s been years since he died, I still thought of my dad and smiled.
I sit down to write and somehow, words appear on the page, and somehow, sometimes I don’t even sound like a fool.