#SOL17: In Which I See The Obvious
I miss my desk. I miss my books. I think I miss my books more. For two months, my things have sat in storage, waiting to be summoned to the new house.
Poor house, with its listing foundation pillars and rotted sill plates, its mold-infested basement and muddy crawlspaces, its sewer conjoined illegally to the neighbors’, its cracked ductwork with traces of unmentionable inhabitants. It has needed love. Which we have given. Plus refinished floors, shellac on the walls to seal in nicotine odors, new paint, so much more. The house is ready for us now, and we’ve called to tell the moving company, “Come!” Two days ago, I learned our things were in Chicago, a third of the way home.
There are still some things that need tending. But I’ve learned that if I take a small moment to do something that matters to me, the tedium of baseboard paint touch-ups eases. This seems like something I should have learned a long time ago: do what matters first.
The thing is, what matters to me is often invisible to society, often not valued. Thinking. Writing. Making. Instead, I’m all too aware of that outer world; I’m all too willing to dive in, try to surf that relentless current. Later, I’ve told myself. I’ll do that other stuff later.
So, as my books, my desk make the long haul to this new home, I get to ask myself what I want. Really want. Where will I invest my time? Because we only get so much of it. And if I spend it on what doesn’t really matter, to me, what will I have to show for it?
When you want to invest in what society sees as invisible, it would appear you’d have nothing. But this morning an image flashed into my moving-addled self.
If units of time are like blocks and I am always building with them, then even the invisible-to-others blocks matter. In fact, even in their silent, glass-edged, almost crystalline clarity, they are holding up the other blocks.
So am I willing to take these blocks in hand first, every day? Lay the cornerstones no one sees? Let the out-there-ness recede to some distant rumble?
All images via www.pixabay.com